Cautiously Optimistic

Well, it has been a while since we’ve updated the Tony files.
Mostly because we aren’t exactly sure what’s happening.

This picture to the left has inspired a cautious optimism in me, though. These are bags of Tony’s things that have been sitting next to the door for a little over a week. His friend is back in town, hanging out, and helping him sort through things.

Odd moments and bits of conversation have led me to believe that the end is near, that good news is on the way. I’m holding my breath, but not entirely– like a kid in a breath-holding contest who is secretly exhaling through the nose.

One thing’s for sure though — I’ve never been so excited by the sound of rustling plastic bags.

Tony’s No Fool!

I don’t know who we thought we were kidding, but the Tonyproofing isn’t going well!
Not only has he continued to steal food, but he has also figured out our security system, removed the screw, and stolen the nut that keeps it in place! He’s no dummy!

Our landlord stopped by last night, looked at our lock and chain, and asked, “He’s already figured that out, hasn’t he?” …. He then proceeded to give us some Tonyproofing tips of his own, exchanged our screws for stronger ones, and doubled the chain. I guess he’s on our side, right?

The chain has also inspired a new anger in Tony! He has taken to putting his laundry in around midnight, to ensure that nobody gets a peaceful night’s sleep! And the hand towel war has taken a turn for the worst as well! I’m afraid I have to admit he’s winning it — but that probably deserves its own post.

I’m losing faith, friends! When it comes to a battle of crazies, there’s no doubt who the winner will be!

Tonyproofed!

Recently, we’ve been having some issues with food disappearing. Well, maybe I worded that incorrectly.
Tony has been stealing our food for months now, and recently we’ve been getting fed up! From missing fruits and vegetables to jars of peanuts, bags of apricots, loaves of bread, bags of potato chips, cooked chicken or pasta or garbanzo beans, Tony has been robbing us blind.

And we’re sick of it! After weeks of talking about it, we finally purchased the lock today.
We’re officially in the process of Tonyproofing the apartment.

Welcome Back, Tony

Having lived with Tony for 6 months now, I sometimes believe that I know his schedule better than my own. I know that he’ll wake up at 8am and occupy the bathroom for an annoyingly long period of time. At 3pm he will eat lunch, at 8pm he’ll have a snack, and at 11:00 he’ll have dinner. Then it’s lights out at midnight. On Fridays around 5pm, he leaves for the weekend. This is the best part of my week.

I am not entirely sure where Tony goes for the weekend. He’s said that he stays “with a friend”, though for some reason, I always imagined him going to Huelva, a nearby town. (Although, the last few Saturdays, he has made guest appearances during the afternoon… so I guess he stays rather close.)

Let’s face it– I don’t care where Tony goes. I am just thrilled that he goes.
Tony’s weekend getaways leave me with 70 hours per week where I can leave my door unlocked, occupy the kitchen, and leave my hand towel hanging in the bathroom. Aka — paradise.

Naturally, the worst part of my week then, is at 2:45 on Monday afternoon, when Tony comes back home. He parks his bike, heads to his room, then makes a B-line for the bathroom to take down my hand towel. He heads to the kitchen to mop the floor with dirty water, then rearranges the silverware so it’s all facing the same direction. What can I say? He’s a man of habit. But at least we know what to expect.

Welcome back, Tony.

He who must not be named …(but might be named Tony)

Before we get to the good Tony stories, I think it’s important to set the background. Upon arriving to this apartment, I knew nothing about Tony. But it didn’t take long to realize that things weren’t quite…. right.

One of my first clues to Tony’s troublesome nature was the way he talks to himself. And when I say ‘talks to himself’, what I mean to say is, the way he wanders the halls cursing things (or people — me, in particular) in Parceltongue. The following video is a rather accurate representation. He sounds frighteningly similar.

Any allusion to The Dark Lord is strictly coincidental.

A little bit about life with Antonio

I moved in to this beautiful apartment on February 20, 2012 fully knowing what I was getting myself into. Having heard about Antonio (Tony) from Rachael, co-writer of this blog and my lovely roommate, I knew that living here came with its… setbacks.

Rachael and I have shared stories about Antonio with a few of our friends and everyone has urged us to create a blog, write a book, and make a movie. That’s just how strange living with him is.

This blog will be a compilation of stories, strange facts, and judicial updates. A tell-all, if you will, about Tony.

Antonio is an older man – roughly 60 – who lives in our apartment. He likes to think it’s his apartment, but that’s only because he’s lived here for 7 years. He has strange habits like eating standing up, showering sitting down, and mopping the floor with dirty water. He is currently in a legal battle, and has been for 7 years, with our landlords. It has to do with a silly law in Spain and a stubborn man who refuses to move. But we’ll get to all of that later.

So. This is the beginning. Rachael and I will try our best to update each day with a funny story, picture, or even video if we can get sneaky enough. Stay tuned, eager readers!